gaytog | An idea which may or may not pan out (Reply)

Madoka wants time to move forward.
Madoka wants to escape the womb.
Homura wants time to move backward.
...?

Given the parallels between Madoka and Homura—given the way their wishes become equal and opposite forces for hope and despair—I'm beginning to wonder whether Homura is driven by a fantasy of unbirth, that is, returning to the innocence and comfort of the womb.

Our primary insight into Homura's sexual desires is when she kneels at the feet of Ultimate Madoka, blushing, reaching up toward the statue's crotch, while her minions munch on pomegranates. I'm inclined to read this scene as Homura wanting to perform oral sex on Madoka, carrying undertones of worship/service. It's... possible, I guess? that Homura literally just wants to. Fucking. Climb up into Madoka's uterus.

Given the uterine connotations of witch's labyrinth's Homura's tendency to get stuck in them—first a labyrinth of time, then a labyrinth of space, then a labyrinth that encompasses the whole universe—could be read as a desire to escape back to the womb. Actually, given the apparent fact that Witch = Baby, the threat of Homura's impending witchhood seems like a fulfillment of an unbirth fantasy? Maybe? Which means her suicidality isn't about the release of death, but a return to the oblivion of the womb...her first encounter with a witch (suicidal thoughts, doubly yonic monster).

I'm not sure whether this jives with Homura's desire to switch places with Madoka—to be in control of their relationship. If we want to collapse all the power hierarchies in female relationships into Mother/Daughter dynamics (which we may not want to do, since Homura could just be Queering The Binary) then it looks like Homura wants to be the Mother while Madoka is the Daughter. But then, Madoka is both Mother and Daughter when she gets severed from herself...

Okay, that's enough for today. This is even weirder than I normally get. I just ordered a copy of The Monstrous-Feminine by Barbara Creed, so hopefully I'll have some more coherent ideas soon.